let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
