lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
