Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
