Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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