i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
