i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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