Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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