I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
