Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
