Grow some girl-balls and come out already
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
