I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
