I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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