How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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