I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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