I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
