I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
