JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
