That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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