Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
