I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
