do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
