We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
