he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
