i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
