How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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