and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
