i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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