Already got asked if we're dating
I accidentally had phone sex last night
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
