The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
