No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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