shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
