And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
