Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
