Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
