We won't sleep together?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
