I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
