In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
