I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
