honey bunches of taint.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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