I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
