Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
