Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
