Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
