12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
