I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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