I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
