UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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