I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
