i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
