I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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