my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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