she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
